respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
