I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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