i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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