his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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