I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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