8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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