It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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