I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
