shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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