All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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