so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
