At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
