My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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