and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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