i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize