my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
