And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize