from now on my penis is your penis
Princesses don't give blow jobs
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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