there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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