just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
