so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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