I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My feet surprised me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
