i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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