A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
