i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
