The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize