no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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