We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
