Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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