saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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