I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize