does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
