dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
vagina is talking i cant
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
