we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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