Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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