Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize