I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
