He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
zippers are such a cool invention
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
