we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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