This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
