Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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