Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Pappa wants mamma naked
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
