i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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