I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Threesome in a minivan. New low
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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