so let's talk penis.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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