Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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