what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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