i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm sobbing to NWA
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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