we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
