brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I love you. Go after that dick
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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