There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
