Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
