They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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