I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think weed is turning my hair brown
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
