the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
