i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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