I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize