One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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