if i can run in heels then i can drive
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
