I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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