My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
