so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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