i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
