Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize